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awful clichés

#41 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2014-April-05, 04:17

View Postbarmar, on 2014-April-04, 09:10, said:

It's just a game, what's wrong with having a little harmless fun?


I guess it depends on one's definition of fun LOL. The worst problem with people saying inane things is that they expect you to laugh or at least smile.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#42 User is offline   gwnn 

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Posted 2014-April-05, 04:25

I sometimes read out loud scores like '85%' in the first round from the Bridgemate when there is no other table playing the same board (ie it is always 50%). Similarly, I feign surprise that our bad board is not bad after all as it gave us Average.
... and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic.
      George Carlin
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#43 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2014-April-05, 06:24

"Way Hey, a Top, partner!" in an IMP event
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"

"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
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#44 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2014-April-05, 08:54

View PostVampyr, on 2014-April-05, 04:17, said:

I guess it depends on one's definition of fun LOL. The worst problem with people saying inane things is that they expect you to laugh or at least smile.

Rolling your eyes at a groaner is a perfectly good defense. That'll teach them.

#45 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2014-April-06, 18:47

View Postbarmar, on 2014-April-05, 08:54, said:

Rolling your eyes at a groaner is a perfectly good defense. That'll teach them.


I can't be bothered. I just take no notice.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#46 User is offline   Trinidad 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 01:26

This weekend, twice on consecutive boards. (Pretty high level competition, on top of everything.)

An opponent preempts and buys the contract. When dummy puts down his hand he puts down a singleton trump, then the two suits of the same color, then the last suit and suddenly "discovers" that he has some more trumps mixed in with those. Two times the same guy. How childish can one be?

Rik
I want my opponents to leave my table with a smile on their face and without matchpoints on their score card - in that order.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!), but “That’s funny…” – Isaac Asimov
The only reason God did not put "Thou shalt mind thine own business" in the Ten Commandments was that He thought that it was too obvious to need stating. - Kenberg
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#47 User is offline   gwnn 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 01:34

I did that sometimes but nowadays I try to put down trumps first, as that is usually what pd is most interested in.

One funny one my p did to me was him being the captain of a relay auction and he put me in a (wrong-sided) slam. I had xxxx of trumps and he said, before putting his hand down 'I have a nice hand but I hope you have trumps covered pard!' I should have seen it coming for several different reasons but I was completely duped (he had AKQx or so of course).
... and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic.
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#48 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 09:30

When dummy puts down a hand void in trumps, I point out "Umm, trumps go on the left".

#49 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 15:10

"Nice hand, partner. Aren't you missing something?"
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#50 User is offline   blackshoe 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 17:25

View PostPhilG007, on 2014-April-04, 04:57, said:

You should call the TD and say what happened. Dummy is NOT allowed to play any card without instruction
from declarer...even a singleton. The TD will give a ruling

"Dummy must not participate in the play, nor may he communicate anything about the play to declarer." -- Law 43A1{c}.
"Dummy is liable to penalty under Law 90 for any violation of the limitations listed in A1 and A2 above." -- Law 43B1.
"In view of the second quoted law, if you do this again, you will receive a procedural penalty in match points or IMPs. Do you understand? Okay, please play on".
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As for tv, screw it. You aren't missing anything. -- Ken Berg
I have come to realise it is futile to expect or hope a regular club game will be run in accordance with the laws. -- Jillybean
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#51 User is offline   Lord Molyb 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 17:43

Overbid to 3NT
"So, the contract is 2NT?"
Become yourself.
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#52 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2014-April-07, 19:03

View PostLord Molyb, on 2014-April-07, 17:43, said:

Overbid to 3NT
"So, the contract is 2NT?"

There is a real life case from my youth when we were playing against someone who was known to us (although perhaps not to her partner) for tediously and predictably "correcting" the contract back to 2N (ha ha ha) after being doubled in 3N. She stopped doing it after

S.....W.....N......E
1D...P....1S.....P
1N...P....2N.....P
3N...X....P.......P
2N!...P!..P!!....P

2N +2
(I had no particular defence when doubling)
To be fair to North, I might not have corrected back to 3N myself
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"

"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
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#53 User is offline   Cyberyeti 

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Posted 2014-April-08, 07:41

View Post1eyedjack, on 2014-April-07, 19:03, said:

There is a real life case from my youth when we were playing against someone who was known to us (although perhaps not to her partner) for tediously and predictably "correcting" the contract back to 2N (ha ha ha) after being doubled in 3N. She stopped doing it after

S.....W.....N......E
1D...P....1S.....P
1N...P....2N.....P
3N...X....P.......P
2N!...P!..P!!....P

2N +2
(I had no particular defence when doubling)
To be fair to North, I might not have corrected back to 3N myself


I don't know why, but this auction reminds me of an unopposed auction we had years ago 1♠-1♦-1♥-1♠ with the curious effect that partner managed to terminate the auction at the 1 level and not declare.
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#54 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2014-April-08, 09:20

RHO cue-bids a suit your side has bid. "My lead?"

#55 User is offline   Cyberyeti 

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Posted 2014-April-08, 09:35

View Postbarmar, on 2014-April-08, 09:20, said:

RHO cue-bids a suit your side has bid. "My lead?"


On similar lines to this, pre bidding boxes, partner leaps to 6♣ RHO says incredulously "6♣!" "double" says I.
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#56 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2014-April-08, 16:48

View PostLord Molyb, on 2014-April-07, 17:43, said:

Overbid to 3NT
"So, the contract is 2NT?"
I always see that one level down.
1♦-1♥;1NT-2NT; AP.
"so, 1NT?"

re the IB cases: I still remember the call where the auction went 1NT-p-1NT-"Director, please". After explaining everything, they accepted the call, and I went away. "Director, please" "yes?" "We passed it out. Who's declarer?"
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#57 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2014-April-08, 18:42

View Postblackshoe, on 2014-April-07, 17:25, said:

"Dummy must not participate in the play, nor may he communicate anything about the play to declarer." -- Law 43A1{c}.
"Dummy is liable to penalty under Law 90 for any violation of the limitations listed in A1 and A2 above." -- Law 43B1.
"In view of the second quoted law, if you do this again, you will receive a procedural penalty in match points or IMPs. Do you understand? Okay, please play on".


Whatever. If you seriously believe that calling the director when dummy has played, of his own accord, a singleton on the opening lead, well there is no law against it.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#58 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2014-April-09, 08:58

Forgot one of the classics: "Grossly underbid". Said when you bid a normal part-score that makes enough tricks for game, or a game that makes slam, because of an extremely favorable lie of the cards.

#59 User is offline   WellSpyder 

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Posted 2014-April-09, 09:13

View Postbarmar, on 2014-April-09, 08:58, said:

Forgot one of the classics: "Grossly underbid". Said when you bid a normal part-score that makes enough tricks for game, or a game that makes slam, because of an extremely favorable lie of the cards.

"Bid up, partner", is my partner's usual comment in these circumstances. I can live with it (though I don't see the need for it!) when the un-bid game or slam makes because of an extremely lucky lie of the cards. I don't think it really helps people enjoy the game when it is the result of incompetent defence, however...
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#60 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2014-April-09, 09:17

View PostWellSpyder, on 2014-April-09, 09:13, said:

I don't think it really helps people enjoy the game when it is the result of incompetent defence, however...

I would never say it then. And on BBO, I don't appreciate when an opponent writes "wdp" when we gave them a gift.
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