Posted 2014-March-28, 16:59
Three decades of hopeless/clueless comments for you:
It must be about 30 years ago that I remember reading in our local newsletter about an auction at a tournament that began 1♥ - pass - 4♦. Opener was asked about the meaning of 4♦ and was having trouble remembering the name of the convention. "It's, um, uh, can't recall what it's called, um, oh yes, it's a SPINGLETON!" Opponents quickly pointed out that on this auction she was in fact playing a related convention called DINGLETONS.
It must be 20 years ago* that I had the following 3 board round against the type of married couple for whom strategy consists of driving 50 miles to play at the club where the entry fee is a dollar cheaper: Board 1, I play four spades and have four apparent losers, but trumps break 3-1, the player with the singleton following to the second but not to the first. +420. Board 2, the uncontested bidding begins with Mrs. RHO and goes 1♣ - 1♠, 2♣ - 2♥, 3♣ - 3♦, 4♣ - pass. I lead a trump from my doubleton and dummy has a singleton. Partner discards and I don't believe even on this auction that declarer has ten clubs, so I ask if he is out of clubs. The Director is called even before partner produces a club. "You can do that?" says declarer. Certainly, says the director. Dummy now pipes up with "why didn't you do that on the first hand then?", deftly accusing partner of failing to do something she was unaware was possible. Board 3, with two tops in the bank, starts with my 3♣ preempt. Mr. LHO passes and Mrs. RHO bids 3♦. Unfortunately, this happens ten seconds after partner has raised to 4♣. Trying our best to avoid a freakout, we courteously summon the director over (for the third time), who begins to explain options but is interrupted by Mrs. RHO, who says she has heard all this before and will simply change her call to 4NT. After the director explains the effect of this ploy, we cash seven clubs and an ace and leave quietly.
It must be about 10 years ago that an occasional partner decided RKC was the way to go. Playing at a club where defenders holding Yarboroughs just HAVE TO KNOW, a player asked me about partner's 5♠ response as we RKC'd our way to a spade slam. I answered that 5♠ "shows two key cards in spades," then placed a card from my hand face down on the table, pointed to it, and continued: "and in addition to the two key-cards he has, for some reason, partner also claims to hold THIS card." Partner immediately reinspected his hand. Why? Don't ask me.
And just last week, opponents conducted this uncontested auction: 2NT - 3♥(transfer), 3♠ - 4NT. Opener now stared at partner for a full minute, then convulsively grabbed a green card and slapped it down. Responder was mortified, but opener got in the first verbal shot: "ya can't do that to ask for aces. 4NT is quantitative." When the bickering stopped, he made ten tricks for a cold bottom by making a claim on a cross-ruff, forgetting that he had emphatically parked in 4NT. His spade holding was ♠KJx within a minimum 20 count for the 2NT opener, so he was more interested in passing to get the argument started, than in bidding 5♠, as his own system demanded!
*in fact, 20 years ago may be within the short period that the ACBL banned defenders from asking about each others revokes
ACBL TD--got my start in 2002 directing games at BBO!
Please come back to the live game; I directed enough online during COVID for several lifetimes.
Bruce McIntyre, Yamaha WX5 Roland AE-10G AKAI EWI SOLO virtuoso-in-training