[pran]

 mycroft, on 2013-January-08, 12:17, said:

Odd. I have different meanings from most printed here for these mannerisms.

"Play" - I rarely use, I use "small" instead.
"Play one" - dummy has 987.
"Always falsecard from dummy - Jack, please" - from JT.
"Pick one" or "your choice" - dummy has a singleton.
"Play anything" - I've claimed, and they've objected, and the TD has forced me to play it out against the Laws.

If partner says "play anything", I play the potentially most damaging card. If the opponents say "play anything" (usually because they could claim, but they're wasting my time because once they got ruled against in a defective claim, so they never will again, *and* annoying me with the obvious "the play doesn't matter" attitude), I insist on my L46B5 rights. Oddly, declarers tend to take offence to that. What possible problem could there be?

Maybe:

Law 74A2 said:

A player should carefully avoid any remark or action that might cause annoyance or embarrassment to another player or might interfere with the enjoyment of the game.

This law works both ways.

[mycroft]

I'm sorry, I don't understand. They say "play anything", I exercise my rights under law, politely but expecting to be obeyed, and they are suddenly offended. What they think they mean by "play anything" is "dummy play something obviously safe".

I will admit that I'm a bit passive agressive (see the first statement), but they're not claiming, but they don't seem to care about dummy. If I think I care about dummy, what should I do that won't offend?

[pran]

 mycroft, on 2013-January-09, 10:57, said:

I'm sorry, I don't understand. They say "play anything", I exercise my rights under law, politely but expecting to be obeyed, and they are suddenly offended. What they think they mean by "play anything" is "dummy play something obviously safe".

I will admit that I'm a bit passive agressive (see the first statement), but they're not claiming, but they don't seem to care about dummy. If I think I care about dummy, what should I do that won't offend?

If you insist in a manner that causes annoyance . . . . . ?

[Vampyr]

 pran, on 2013-January-09, 16:53, said:

If you insist in a manner that causes annoyance . . . . . ?

All that is necessary is to call the director and explain the problem politely. Why assume mycroft does something other than that?

[pran]

 Vampyr, on 2013-January-09, 22:40, said:

All that is necessary is to call the director and explain the problem politely. Why assume mycroft does something other than that?

Quite true.
But if opponents become annoyed when he insists then either it is for a real reason in which case he should change his manner, or it is unjust in which case the Director should explain the relevant law(s) to his opponenets.

[mycroft]

Actually, I just call the card. "Jack of Hearts, please". It causes offence, because "play anything, partner" means "play something obviously safe" in the minds of the declarers. Not that it has ever mattered, but that's because the "play anything" people aren't playing for the bad discard, they do in fact have all the tricks and are just avoiding claiming.

[pran]

 mycroft, on 2013-January-10, 11:44, said:

Actually, I just call the card. "Jack of Hearts, please". It causes offence, because "play anything, partner" means "play something obviously safe" in the minds of the declarers. Not that it has ever mattered, but that's because the "play anything" people aren't playing for the bad discard, they do in fact have all the tricks and are just avoiding claiming.

And this sounds fair enough.
Now if that raises any objection by declarer it is time to tell him politely that you will call the director because that is the law. (I do hope that your next statement will never be insisting that he does play the ♥J?)

[Siegmund]

If only they would come right out and object. What most of the dummies do, in my experience, is put their deuce of clubs in the played position in tempo, either ignoring you entirely or chuckling at (what they think is) your little joke of pretending to tell them what to play." Meanwhile declarer has turned his card over and already led to the next trick.

I find myself trying to say, hey, wait a minute, no, I was serious about that ♥J, while trying to bring the play to a halt until the situation is resolved. And somehow it seems to be impossible to make all that come across as polite. I could try calling the director immediately without saying why again, I suppose, but I think that might be interpreted as even more hostile.

[pran]

 Siegmund, on 2013-January-11, 00:39, said:

If only they would come right out and object. What most of the dummies do, in my experience, is put their deuce of clubs in the played position in tempo, either ignoring you entirely or chuckling at (what they think is) your little joke of pretending to tell them what to play." Meanwhile declarer has turned his card over and already led to the next trick.

I find myself trying to say, hey, wait a minute, no, I was serious about that ♥J, while trying to bring the play to a halt until the situation is resolved. And somehow it seems to be impossible to make all that come across as polite. I could try calling the director immediately without saying why again, I suppose, but I think that might be interpreted as even more hostile.

OK.
Now depending on the situation:

In a friendly club event or if the selection of the card to be played is indeed immaterial I would suggest (either immediately or at the end of the play) stating something like: "You should really be aware that it is a serious offence by dummy selecting the card to be played. When declarer says ANY then either defender, not dummy, decides which card is to be played from dummy".

In a more serious situation I would recommend (immediately): "Sorry, but I shall have to call the director" and then do so.

[Vampyr]

 pran, on 2013-January-11, 04:15, said:

In a more serious situation I would recommend (immediately): "Sorry, but I shall have to call the director" and then do so.

I would prefer to follow the rules of the game than give my opponents a lecture.

I have often called the card from dummy, but I have never had the opponents consider it a joke.