[SallyClark]

We Bridge play casually on BBO.
We always invite a 4th player to join our table.
Often the 4th player who joins our table will suddenly leave, sometimes half way through a hand!
Surely a few words in the chat line saying ‘this will be my last hand’ is just courteous good Bridge etiquette and shows respect for other players.
If someone was invited to play at your home they wouldn’t just get up and leave without saying anything, they certainly wouldn’t be invited again if they did!
Players need to play courteously as they would if not playing online, just leaving a table with no warning I find downright rude.
I would be interested to hear other players views on this issue.
Sally

[mycroft]

If you're three, especially if one of the three is the unpartnered most of the time, it strongly behooves you to find a fourth, fast.

This has always been, and will always be, BBO. People dropping in, playing a couple of hands and leaving. Yes, it would be nice to have a "last for me, thanks", but sometimes being behind a screen turns down the "nice to other people" filter.

Think of it less like an invitation to your home, and more like a carnival food court. There are open spots at your table, people will take them and stay until they feel like leaving. Usually when they're done, but sometimes because the conversation's not what they want, or the music's too loud, or one of their friends shows up, or...

[SallyClark]

Thank you for your reply.
Initially we tried to find a 4th player who is free on Tuesdays but failed to find anyone who was free, hence we invite a player to join our table.
I still find the rude behaviour of players very disappointing, I would expect more of intelligent people who play Bridge.
In my opinion just because it’s online doesn’t mean one has to abandon one’s manners.

[mycroft]

I agree with you. There are many reasons I don't play anything but set or invited games, and this is definitely one of them.

But it is what it is; has been for 20 years.

[pilowsky]

Characterising a sudden departure as rude is a bit risky.
You may not like it, but people 'leave tables' for all sorts of reasons.
You say rudeness, but that's simply an allegation. I haven't heard what the other people say.

On a practical note, when you set up your table you can set the completion rate to a large number. This might solve your problem - in part.

Under privacy options, the last line is 'minimum completion rate' The default is 0. Change it to 90 and see if that helps.

Then you will attract people that value completion of a hand before they leave.

They might still leave without saying goodbye.

[chips624]

I completely agree that it is very rude if people really just leave in the middle of a hand, but lately I am constantly losing connection...some days are worse than others. It seems to have gotten much worse since the beginning of the pandemic...I don't know if Bridge Base's system is overloaded, or if there is some other problem. My point is that the other players probably think that I just left. If I remember the name(s) of any of the players at the table, I try to go back, but usually a robot is now playing my hand.

[pilowsky]

chips624, on 2021-January-21, 13:48, said:

I completely agree that it is very rude if people really just leave in the middle of a hand, but lately I am constantly losing connection...some days are worse than others. It seems to have gotten much worse since the beginning of the pandemic...I don't know if Bridge Base's system is overloaded, or if there is some other problem. My point is that the other players probably think that I just left. If I remember the name(s) of any of the players at the table, I try to go back, but usually a robot is now playing my hand.

Exactly, it's very rare in the Club for a player's chair to suddenly collapse or for them to self-immolate - except under extreme provocation.

[oxshott19]

I agree totally with the previous sentiments. I've been playing regularly for nearly a year and the only problem with the site is rude and arrogant members who spoil the general friendly atmosphere of the site. I would like to propose the formation of a 'Friendly ACOL Bridge Club' for like minded polite players. Michael Brown, Surrey, UK. (oxshott19)

[pilowsky]

oxshott19, on 2021-January-21, 22:35, said:

I agree totally with the previous sentiments. I've been playing regularly for nearly a year and the only problem with the site is rude and arrogant members who spoil the general friendly atmosphere of the site. I would like to propose the formation of a 'Friendly ACOL Bridge Club' for like minded polite players. Michael Brown, Surrey, UK. (oxshott19)

Is this what you are looking for? http://www.acolatbbo.org.uk/

I've never tried it, but they say they're friendly.
"We are the Acol Players Club hosted, as a public club, on BBO.This is a friendly club for Acol players of all levels to meet and play their favorite system.

Although most players will follow one of the Acol systems promoted by the English Bridge Union, players of any Acol based system, popular in other countries, are welcome here."

[barmar]

chips624, on 2021-January-21, 13:48, said:

I completely agree that it is very rude if people really just leave in the middle of a hand, but lately I am constantly losing connection...some days are worse than others. It seems to have gotten much worse since the beginning of the pandemic...I don't know if Bridge Base's system is overloaded, or if there is some other problem. My point is that the other players probably think that I just left. If I remember the name(s) of any of the players at the table, I try to go back, but usually a robot is now playing my hand.

If you lose your connection the seat will be marked in red for a while, it won't look like you just left.

[fromageGB]

Open it to all, but if you find one Tuesday that someone sticks with you a dozen boards, and plays in a style similar to your third, she should suggest "fancy doing it again another Tuesday?"

[barmar]

I've been using the Internet since it began nearly 40 decades ago. One truism I've learned during that time is that people are often more rude than they are in real life. It's almost certainly due to factors such as anonymity and not seeing reactions of others.

I like to recall the old SNL "Point/Counterpoint" segments, where Dan Aykroyd would always begin his part with "Jane, you ignorant slut!" It was shocking because it was so obviously unlikely for someone to say that to a colleague face-to-face; it was clear exaggeration for satirical reasons. But it's the kind of thing that wouldn't be too out of place on an Internet discussion forum (check out the threads in our Water Cooler related to politics and religion).

[pilowsky]

barmar, on 2021-January-28, 12:35, said:

I've been using the Internet since it began nearly 40 decades ago. One truism I've learned during that time is that people are often more rude than they are in real life. It's almost certainly due to factors such as anonymity and not seeing reactions of others.

I like to recall the old SNL "Point/Counterpoint" segments, where Dan Aykroyd would always begin his part with "Jane, you ignorant slut!" It was shocking because it was so obviously unlikely for someone to say that to a colleague face-to-face; it was clear exaggeration for satirical reasons. But it's the kind of thing that wouldn't be too out of place on an Internet discussion forum (check out the threads in our Water Cooler related to politics and religion).

Or, when they reopen, you could come to any Bridge Club in Sydney. I haven't tried the one's outside Sydney.